On my mind...

So much on my mind today and I don't know where to start!

I think they both deserve their own entries so I am going to start with the first.

My weight.. it's becoming an issue. With me and with my husband.

Off and on I have contemplated, somedays longer than others, getting weightloss surgery. Everytime I think about it I chicken out. Plain and simple I chicken out. I look at people that have had it and I think it's the easy way out. But when I research it I know it isn't. I can't fathom having someone reconstructing my insides so I know that the traditional bypass surgery is not for me!

I have researched and researched and researched some more. The lapband seems to be the way to go for, in my mind, the results that I want.

I want a slower weight loss, while dropping 70 pounds in three months would be great I can't begin to believe it's healthy. I want to be able to eat the foods i love but have the portion control that I lack. The band will allow me to eat less. I don't want an "easy out" and I think the band is more of a tool to help with the weightloss, you have to have some sort of control of yourself.
I also have looked at several people who have had the bypass surgery, and while they have lost tremendous amounts of weight and look great there seems to be a trend. I notice more of the women have what to me looks like dried out hair. It doesn't look healthy, it looks like straw, and tends to think out etc. I don't think that something that drastic is for me. I can't remember to take a birth control pill half the time so taking a vitamin or more everyday for the rest of my life, for me, is a daunting task.

I guess it's time to start the research again and get to thinking... I am going to try again on my own.... I want to loose some weight before December anyway (that's part of the other entry I Was talking about). So I figured I might as well just suck it up, cut the portions and start to walk or something!

I think the biggest hurdle for me is going to be the emotional eating, the because im bored and need to munch on something eating. Those are the habits that I have - and those are the habits I need to break. I eat when I'm mad, I eat when I'm bored and when I do snack because of those things instead of eating smaller portions at meals I tend to eat more. I will take seconds when i shouldn't have eaten half of what i took the first time...

WOW... That felt good to get all of that out. Maybe now I can do something about it.