Haven't blogged in FOREVER...

I know I haven't blogged in forever.... I'm sorry to those that were looking for updates. I've been going through some crazy shit... I'll leave out the details of the last few months and just go with the details of the last few days. I FINALLY after three months of nothing have a new and hopefully exciting job. I got this one all on my own - no help from an agency or anything! I am really excited to be working with this firm - and the money was $5K more than I asked for!!!!!

DD and I came home from school the other day and she mentioned that she missed my MIL's cat Mickey - I told her we all missed Mickey and it was ok - she then goes on to tell me that Mickey is in Heaven... and that my daddy(meaning me not hers) is in Heaven too and did I miss him. That sent both of us crying for a few minutes. Once we both got it together I had to sit down and explain (in terms a 4 and a half year old could grasp) that sometimes people and animals get very very very sick and the doctors can't help them - I explained that it wasn't a sickness like her allergies or a cold or even throwing up - but very very very sick - and that they die and go to Heaven where they are much happier and healthy again. But the can never come back to us, and they want us to be happy here even though they aren't with us because they are happy in Heaven.

This was the hardest conversation I have ever had to have with her - she was so sweet and seemed to understand what I meant - she's such a perceptive and smart kid so I hope for the next few years thats a good enough explanation for her. It seemed to be for me, this week has been exceptionally hard - why I don't know but I have been more emotional than I have ever been in the last three years since my dad died. This has been the hardest for me - I guess it's the impending holidays and not having him here.